Hot-Rodded Christmas Songs

The Choir of Angels at the sing Hot-rodded Christmas Songs
2012 Roamin Angles Christmas Party- Phot0 by Landon Schadel

CRUISIN’ IN A WINTER WONDERLAND
© Ronald L. Cherry & Kelly Cherry 2005

Sidepipes roar, are you listnin’?
In the lane, slicks are spinnin’,
Ya better hang tight,
The rear end is light,
Cruisin’ in a Winter Wonderland.

Gone away is our traction;
Better have fast reaction.
Black ice everywhere, as we say a prayer,
Spin-outs in a Winter Wonderland.

By the K-Mart we can do a brodie,
And hope there is no Chippy hangin’ round.
He’ll say, “Are you crazy?”  We’ll say, “No, man!
‘Cuz we’re just Angels out upon the town.”

Later we’ll do a burn out,
So tonight there’ll be no doubt,
We’ll face unafraid the ticket he gave.
Busted in a Winter Wonderland.
Busted in a Winter Wonderland.
Cruisin’ —— in a Winter —— Wonderland.

DECK THE ROD
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2005
(Sung to the tune of “Deck the Halls”)

Deck the rod with a Jimmy blower.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The body we now chop and lower.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
It is a red fat-fendered Ford.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The engine is “The Mouse That Roared.”  Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the flame-ed hood before us.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Loud exhaust creates our chorus.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow as I run the quarter.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The Christmas tree will be our starter.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away off the line and faster.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
As the speed shift now I master.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The clutch is slipping, will it scatter?  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Now we hear a wrist pin clatter.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Then a rod goes through the block’s side.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
My new ZZ4 is fri-ed!!  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Oil is spewing o’er my chrome.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Time to take a flatbed home.  Fa la la la la, la la la la.

I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE T-BIRD
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2006
(Sung to the tune of “Silver Bells”)

1.  I’m dreaming of a white T-Bird just like the one I used to own
With a 312 engine, portholes I should mention,
Paid with a three percent loan.
I’m dreaming of a white T-Bird with ev’ry car show that’s in sight.
May your chrome be gleaming and bright
And may all your Thunderbirds be white!

2.  I’m dreaming of a white T-Bird with Kelsey wheels and wide whitewalls.
Ev’ry time it would rain the wipers were a pain;
The hard top would leak like Niag’ra Falls.
I’m dreaming of a white T-Bird with oil dripping in the night
And my greasy garage floor a blight
And may all your Thunderbirds be white!

3.  I’m dreaming of a white T-Bird with sexy lines and classy tail
With a kit continental that made me go mental
Each time a tire picked up a nail.
I’m dreaming of a white T-Bird although the doors may not fit right.
It still sets my heart alight.
So may all your Thunderbirds be white!

A ROAMIN ANGEL’S FAVORITE THINGS
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2006
(Sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things)

1.  Blowers on Hemi’s and nitrous injection,
Stainless steel headers and posi for traction,
Fresh painted fenders without any dings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Smooth shifting four-speeds and T/A Drag tires,
Pertronix ignition and spiral plug wires,
Black fuzzy dice from the mirror that swing,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the rod knocks, when the clutch slips, when I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.

2.  Muncie transmission and Hurst Super Shifter,
A camshaft by Isky with Crane roller lifters,
Pistons by Keith Black with Moly-faced rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Wheels made by Cragar with tires that don’t shred,
A pair of aluminum Dart Pro 1 heads,
Valves made by Manley with triple valve springs,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the chrome flakes, when the paint peels, when I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.

3.  Intake by Edelbrock and for the carburetor
1150 dual-pumping Holley Dominator
101 octane for gas that won’t ping,                                                                                   These are a few of my favorite things.

Milodon gear drive with accurate tooling,
Pulleys by Billet and Spahl fans for cooling,
Centerforce clutch to a flywheel that clings,                                                                     These are a few of my favorite things.

When the belt breaks, when the tire blows, when I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.

SILVER CHROME
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2007
(Sung to the tune of “Silver Bells”)

1.  City byways, busy highways, where the street rods cruise by
On the way to the pine-shaded Fairgrounds.
Blowers whining, paint jobs shining as for trophies they vie,
And beneath ev’ry hood you will see:

CHORUS: Silver chrome, silver chrome, it’s car show time at the Fairgrounds.
Spar – kle – ing . . . daz – zle – ing . . . cars that will blow you away!

2.  Rows of deuce coupes brought by club groups,                                                     Chopped and channeled and lowered,
An occasional Willys and Studie.
Little T-Birds, flashy Firebirds and a fat-fendered Ford
Have the chrome, triple-plated that gleams.     CHORUS

3.  Look for rat rods, beat up buzzard bods circling like bees from hives
And some Stingrays and hot Shelby Mustangs.
GTO’s and cool Camaros and a row of Tri-Fives
With their grills glinting bright in the sun.     CHORUS

4.  Stately Packards are not slackards and the Caddies add class
With their big fins and polished chrome bumpers.
Hemi Mopars cannot go far without high octane gas
Like the supercharged T-Bucket Fords.     CHORUS

5.  Classic Woodies like those goodies in some Beach Boys’ songs gold
Sit by customized Mercs with frenched headlights.
Axles drop-ped, pillars chop-ped on a modified Olds
With the door handles shaved are so smooth.     CHORUS

TOY DRIVE
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2007
(Sung to the tune of “Sleigh Ride”)

Just hear those hot rods rum-ble-ing,

Ground thump-thumping below.
Come on, it’s lovely weather for a
Toy Drive together, let’s go!

Outside the snow is falling but the
Heater’s thawing our toes.
Come on, it’s lovely weather for a
Toy Drive together, let’s go!

Tach it up, tach it up, tach it up, peel out.
Clutch is burning, no doubt.
Be careful of the ice or you will shout:
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, it’s bad!
Hit the curb and we’re had!”
We’re sliding on by, with a sigh,
“If we crash it will be so sad.”

But we regain our traction by quick reaction, oh boy!
And we can then deliver and be a giver of toys.
Let’s take the gifts to Santa;
We can’t appear to be slow.
Come on, it’s lovely weather for a
Toy Drive together, Ho! Ho!
Come on, it’s lovely weather for a
Toy drive together, let’s go!

LET’S GO!

ON A CRUISE
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2008
(Sung to the tune of “Let It Snow”)

1a.  Oh, the weather outside is storming, while the pods are slowly forming.
I think we just blew a fuse . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise.

1b.  Our wipers just keep on stopping and all our rags are sopping
And with no Rainex to use . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise.

*  When we finally stop for gas, how I’ll hate going out in the rain.
But this potty break time I’ll pass, ’cuz the line out the door is a pain!

1c.  Oh, our club radio is squawking ’cuz everyone is talking.
Just yammering about the views . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise.

2a.  Oh, the women wanna go antiquing but our windshield now is leaking.
And the water’s all over my shoes . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise.

2b.  Oh, my bladder is almost bursting from the coffee I’ve been nursing.
A bathroom I could really use . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise.

*  When we finally stop for lunch and we rumble into the parking lot,
I hear the spoiler in front go crunch and my temper’ture gauge is on hot!

2c.  Oh, the tables are less than dinky and the food is really stinky.
My lunch I’m about to lose . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise.

3a.  Down the road our rods are flying but my engine keeps on dying.
And that’s not very good news . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise.

3b.  Oh, our engine is now backfiring and a tow we may be hiring.
What repair shop should I choose . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise?

*  If we could just try to limp along, on our own power, bring it on home;
Hoping nothing else will go wrong, then with Angels no more will we roam.

3c.  What’s that news on the radio we’re hearing?  Another cruise that sounds endearing . . . .  It’s an offer we can’t refuse . . . on a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise!
On a cruise, on a cruise, on a cruise!

O CLASSIC CARS
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2008
(Sung to the tune of “O Christmas Tree/O Tannenbaum!”)

1.  O Cadillac, O Cadillac, you lumber down the highway.  (Repeat)
You guzzle gas at such a rate that bankruptcy will be my fate.
O Cadillac, O Cadillac, you drive me to the poorhouse!

2.  O Willys Jeep, O Willys Jeep, you’re known to be an orphan.  (Repeat)
I search for parts on Internet but they’re impossible to get.
O Willys Jeep, O Willys Jeep, I should have bought a Chevy!

3.  A C Cobra, A C Cobra, you ride just like a buckboard.  (Repeat)
O driving you is such abuse.  I think you knocked a filling loose!
A C Cobra, A C Cobra, you send me to the dentist.

4.  Corvette Stingray, Corvette Stingray, where do I put my luggage?  (Repeat)  The problem is there is no trunk or place to stash my tools and junk.
Corvette Stingray, Corvette Stingray, I can barely pack my toothbrush!

5.  O Forty Ford, O Forty Ford, your seats are made by Honda.  (Repeat)
Your engine is a GM crate, your TCI frame is really great.
O Forty Ford, O Forty Ford, Ford only made your body!

6.  Our street rods and our classic cars are sometimes such a headache.  (Repeat)
Some people look and wonder why we own these cars that make us cry.
Our street rods and our classic cars . . . to drive them is to love them!

I SAW MOMMY RACING SANTA CLAUS
© Ronald L. Cherry 2009
(Sung to the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”)

1.  I saw Mommy racing Santa Claus
In her Shelby Mustang late last night.
She had him in first gear, as her red line she did near.
She thought his Hemi Charger was not anything to fear.

Then I heard Santa’s Carters kicking in,
Dual quads were synchronized just right.
Oh, what a shock it was, I’m sure, when Santa pulled next to her,
As they drag raced down the street last night!

2.  I saw Mommy racing Santa Claus,
As she shifted into second gear.
She had to slip the clutch, for her revs were far too much.
She thought her big block four twenty-eight would leave him in the dust.

Then I saw Santa’s Mopar take the lead,
Power shifting, Hemi wound up tight.
Oh, I could not believe my eyes when his Charger began to rise,
As he waved and flew up out of sight!

HOT RODS AND CLASSICS
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2009
(Sung to the tune of “Frosty the Snow Man”)

1.  Hot rods and classics are the coolest cars to drive,
Shiny chrome side pipes or a louvered hood makes you really feel alive.
Lowered and channeled and the frenching of tail-lights,
Once the top is chopped and the engine hopped, then your rod’s a real delight.

There must have been some magic in that old Ford they did buy,
For when they got it on the road, hit fourth gear and it would fly.
Oh, hot rods and classics with the paint jobs so supreme,
With metallic red on a wild, lead sled is an Angels’ Christmas dream.

CHORUS: Rump-et-y, rump, rump-et-y, rump rump, love that throaty sound.
Rump-et-y, rump rump, rump-et-y, rump rump, big blocks shake the ground!

2.  Hod rods and classics whether modified or stock,
El Caminos, Vettes, even Model A’s, boy, do these cars really rock!
Caddies and Cougars, Barracudas, Mustangs too,
With some T-Birds small and those Willys tall, all fixed up just like brand new!

Old surfers like their Woodies and their Nomads for a cruise
And the Orphans like the Jeepsters and the Studies still amuse.
Oh, hot rods and classics, oh, our cars are here to stay.
They are oh, so cool and there ain’t no fool gonna take our cars away!

CHORUS: Rump-et-y, rump rump, rump-et-y, rump rump, coupe, sedan, ragtop.
Rump-et-y, rump rump, rump-et-y, rump rump, now all our rhymes will stop!

OUT ON THE DRAG STRIP
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2010
(Sung to the tune of “Up on the Housetop”)

1.  Out on the drag strip engines roar;
Fords and Chevies all big bore.
A guy with a Hemi and flashing smile
Dares me to run down the quarter mile.

CHORUS:   Four fifty-four, foot to the floor.
Blow off his doors with a big Jimmy blower.
Out on the drag strip, VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!
Burn down the quarter, ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM!

2.  Wait till the Christmas tree turns green;
Smoke from my slicks cloud up the scene.
Watch as the revs hit red line on the tach;
Power shift to second and don’t look back.   CHORUS

3.  The guy with a Mopar missed his shift;
Scatters his engine, starts to drift.
A hundred and ten as I cross the line.
For my Chevelle it’s a record time.

LAST CHORUS:   Four fifty-four, foot to the floor.
Blow off his doors with a big Jimmy blower.
Out on the drag strip VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!
Burn down the quarter, ZOOM . . ZOOM . . ZOOM . . . . !

eBAY CAR
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2010
(Sung to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

1.  Cruising through the pines in a big block Chevrolet;
Engine’s running fine, just bought it on eBay.  (BID!  BID!  BID!)
The rear end starts to growl, and now I hear a clunk,
And then I hear a bearing howl, the differential’s junk!  Oh,

CHORUS:
EBay car, eBay car, sad I am to say,
Thought I got a real, hot deal on my big block Chevrolet.
EBay car, eBay car, sad I am to say,
Why did I buy it sight unseen on “Buy-it-Now” eBay?

2.  Now I hit the brakes, the pedal hits the floor,
Oh, this just takes the cake, still going at full bore.
The tranny starts to grind, can’t get it out of gear,
And more than that I’ve come to find I can no longer steer.  Oh,

CHORUS

3.  Clouds of dark, blue smoke are billowing behind.
This car is one big joke.  I’m about to lose my mind!
This car has got to go.  I’ve got to find a way.
But who would buy this heap? . . . . . . . . I know!  I’ll sell it on eBay!  Oh,

LAST CHORUS:   EBay car, eBay car, glad I am to say,
He thought he got a real, hot deal on my big block Chevrolet.
Ebay car, eBay car, glad I am to say,
He just bought it sight unseen on “Buy-It-Now” eBay.
He just bought it sight unseen on “Buy – – It – – Now” – – e – – Bay – – – – !

SANTA HAS GOT A CHRISTMAS ROD
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2010
(Sung to the tune of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)

1.  Santa has got a Christmas rod.  It’s a chopped and channeled Ford.
Missus Claus gave St. Nick the nod for a thirty-three restored.
Cruisin’ around at Christmas time in his bright red Ford sedan;
Pinstriping highlights ev’ry line, he’s a very jolly man!

CHORUS:  Santa parked his Christmas sleigh and drives his new street rod
With a four twenty-nine, by golly, and a four-barrel carb by Holley.

The rod has got a C-6 trans with a Mustang Two front end.
Manley valves on a roller cam makes the Ford fly like the wind.

2.  Cruisin’ around the streets and lanes to greet the good little girls and boys;    Laughing and giving candy canes, making lists of Christmas toys.
Making his ride run, oh, so fine, keeps the elves all on their toes;
Slaving away on overtime, so his paint job really glows.

CHORUS: Santa parked his Christmas sleigh and drives his new street rod
With a four twenty-nine, by golly, and a four-barrel carb by Holley.

Presents piled high in Santa’s sack when he makes his Christmas run;
Reindeer all piled in to the back and old Rudolph rides shotgun.
And old Ru-dolph rides sh-ot-gu-un . . . !

SANTA’S JOINED THE HIGHWAY PATROL
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2011
(Sung to the tune of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”)

1. You better not speed, you better not race,
You better slow down, don’t hurry your pace,
Santa’s joined the Highway Patrol.
They gave him a Vette and oh, what a sight,
With Rudolph on top to provide the red light.
Santa’s joined the Highway Patrol.
His radar gun is clocking on Highway forty-nine,
So don’t go flying down that road or you’re gonna get a fine. Oh,
You better not speed, you better not race,
You better slow down, don’t hurry your pace,
Santa’s joined the Highway Patrol.

2. A burn-out is fun, we all feel the need,
But Santa calls that “exhibitionist speed!”
Santa’s joined the Highway Patrol.
Don’t have a lead foot or Santa will say,
“This ticket’s for you and have a nice day.”
Santa’s joined the Highway Patrol.
So Roamin Angels watch out, for a Chippy dressed in red,
’Cause Santa Claus is watching you, so remember what I said. Oh,
You better not speed, you better not race,
You better slow down, don’t hurry your pace.
Santa’s joined the Highway Patrol.
Santa’s joined the Highway Patrol.

I’LL CRUISE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2011
(Sung to the tune of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”)

1.  I’ll cruise home for Christmas in my GTO.
If I fix the air fuel mix then I won’t need a tow.
Next I’ll do the timing, stop the popping back;
Change the rotted tailpipe, if I can find a rack.

2.  I’ll cruise home for Christmas in my GTO.
Battery’s dead, tires have no tread, I fear that one may blow.
I forgot to mention that I’m running hot;
Radiator’s leaking, my water pump is shot.

3.  I’ll cruise home for Christmas in my GTO.
But my clutch . . . isn’t much; it’s slipping as I go.   My
credit card is maxed out, the bank is on the phone.
I’ll cruise home for Christmas, if I can get a loan.

A ROAMIN ANGELS’ VERSION OF “HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS”
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2012
(Sung to the tune of “Here Comes Santa Claus”)

1. Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa in his F-100 Ford.
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer get to ride on board.
His sleigh’s in the shop ’cause it wouldn’t stop
When the elves went on a joyride,
So Santa’s going to make his run in his ’Fifty-six Ford step-side.

2. Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Cruisin’ down the line,
With a Cobra Jet four twenty-nine, his engines’s running fine.
Slicks are smoking, reindeer choking, starting off in first gear.
When Santa’s tach climbs to red line, his jolly smile shows no fear.

3. Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, see the old boy go.
Santa shifts into fourth gear, his pickup’s flying low.
It starts to lift with all the gifts stashed safely in the short bed.
The reindeer hang on for dear life,
As Rudolph’s nose glows bright red.

4. Here comes Santa Claus. Here comes Santa Claus,
Flying through the night.
In his bright red Ford piled high with gifts, it’s really quite a sight!
He felt the need, so he hit air speed with his pickup instead of his sleigh.
The reindeer are glad to relax and ride, as long as they get their hay.

And Santa is sure to deliver the toys to the kid’s by Christmas day.

OH, IT’S SO FUN TO CRUISE IN THE WINTERTIME
© Ronald L. Cherry and Kelly Cherry 2012
(Sung to the tune of “Oh, There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays”)

1.  Oh, it’s so fun to cruise in the wintertime,
Just as long as we don’t get any snow.
With wide tires and dropped axles you cannot use chains,
And it’s such a pain to hit ice and go slow.

But if the weather’s good then you will see
Street rods and classic cars
Take a cruise to our Christmastime Toy Drive.
There will be T-Birds, Mustangs, Cougars too,
Some Mopars and rat rods.
See hot Chevies and Ford Woodies, there might even be old Studies.

Oh, it’s so fun to cruise in the wintertime
Just as long as the rain’s not pouring down.
Even if you have put new weather stripping in,
Water’s dripping in so much that you may drown.

2.  Oh, it’s so fun to cruise in the wintertime,
Just as long as we don’t get any sleet.
’Cause the windshield can fog up and become a blur,
If the defroster is just not blowing heat.

But if the weather’s good, it’s great to go out cruisin’ in the pines
With the blue skies and white, fluffy clouds above.
You don’t need air conditioning and your car
Won’t overheat, you know.
From Lake Tahoe to Penn Valley,
It would make a great road rally!

Oh, it’s so fun to cruise in the wintertime,
Just as long as we get a little sun.
And as long as the weather is not freezing cold,
May we be so bold to plan a winter run?
May we be so bold to plan a winter run?

 

One thought on “Hot-Rodded Christmas Songs

  1. Pingback: Christmas songs with a hot rod twist | Authors I admire | Scoop.it

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