Dis Be De Puns

The prefixes dis- and de- can have multiple meanings.  Displaced means to move something from the place it is occupying.  But couldn’t displaced mean to take away an Olympic medal bronze medal for placing third?  This may be ground-breaking since I am not aware of any formal (if that’s the right word) term for this type of pun.  Any ideas for one?  Let’s see how many puns based on dis- and de- can be made.

A NL team was displayed when its kicked out of the league.
A bar lost its liquor license and was disjointed.
Some poor kids were distended when the baby sitter talked too long on the phone.
When they filled in the Grand Canyon, it was disgorged.
Then there was the young florist who visited Las Vegas for the first time. She gambled everything, lost, and left town deflowered.
If I drink too much, I might be delivered.
We’re thinking of taking out the fireplace.  We’ll be dismantled.
The musician who went deaf and was denoted and clef-fallen.
The poker player who was caught cheating was discarded.
The wine connoisseur had his collection seized by the IRS for tax evasion.  He was deported.
The defrocked overly-critical priest was demoralized and decanted.
The Wimbledon competitor whose noises during play cost her penalty points was obviously disgruntled.
The kilted Scotsman who was caught in a a severe downpour and depleted.
The Scotsman was also decreased.
The witch who was burned at the stake was dispelled.
When Blaise Pascal forgot what he was writing, he was dispensed.
When the Romans invaded Scotland, it was depicted.
Then there was the HVAC guy who deducted the house he was working on.
The guy who cheated on his Mensa test was dismembered.
The magician who forgot his card tricks was disillusioned.                                              When the princess kissed the frog and he became a prince, he was disenchanted.           The big game hunter who could not keep up the payments on his cabin was dislodged.
I hope these puns are not making you uncomfortable.  I’d hate for you to be diseased.

And then there are homophones . . .
I was fishing and my line broke.  I was debated.
I was arrested today and it wasn’t until my bail was raised that I was finally decelerated.
The cheating bowler’s score was lowered.  He was despaired.
I was happy to learn that all the funds spent ridding my pond of waterfowl were deductible.

Reader contribution:
When she learned that her husband had lost their luxury sedan, she suspected dyslexia.

Okay, the die is cast, the dare is thrown. I double-dog dare you, no I triple-dog dare you to give me your best. Or your worst. Is there a difference?

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